


House - August 2009

by NovaHeart



Series: Conversations [1]
Category: The Beginner's Guide (Video Game)
Genre: Love, Love Confessions, M/M, POV First Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-10
Updated: 2019-11-10
Packaged: 2021-01-26 16:55:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,330
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21377419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NovaHeart/pseuds/NovaHeart
Summary: The House game Coda created was only meant to represent the dark space in between the puzzle doors... or at least, that's what Davey had initially thought.A one-shot fic in Davey's POV.
Relationships: Coda/Davey Wreden (The Beginner's Guide)
Series: Conversations [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1916794
Kudos: 12





	House - August 2009

**Author's Note:**

> The Beginner's Guide was created by Davey Wreden.

"Question: Do you enjoy this?"

The housecleaner's question threw me off. Did I enjoy this? Cleaning the house, looping the chores for what would likely be forever... Three dialogue options appeared before me. One was an affirmation that I did enjoy this. The second was a middle-ground option, essentially saying that I'd need to stay a bit longer before I could form a real opinion. The third one was a rejection, that I wasn't happy here.

I didn't want to say that I wasn't happy here, because, truth be told, I was actually enjoying myself. It felt cleansing to me, to play a game like this, in a calm atmosphere, doing things that were more mundane. However, I wanted to see what else Coda would make. A fear was sparked inside me, one made me ask myself, "If I say yes, will this be the last type of game Coda ever makes?", and it made me hesitate to answer the housecleaner's question.

I wasn't the most direct person. Often, I'd take a very roundabout route when discussing an issue with someone. Choosing the third dialogue option, in this scenario, would prompt both Coda and I to move forward, without me having to ask him if he'd make a new game in the case that I did enjoy this one immensely. The problem with this option was, however, that it would come off as though I didn't like this game, and that wasn't true. Plus, I didn't want to hurt him- that might have a negative impact on his games that I couldn't begin to imagine.

I had to ask Coda about it. Unfortunately, there was no alternative, or believe me, I would've taken it.

I turned my chair around to look at him. He caught my eye and smiled. It's strange, because I felt pretty special when he did that, even though he's been smiling all the time lately. It made me feel warm and nice inside when he looked at me that way, when I knew he was feeling that way- I couldn't help but to smile back. He really has been in a much better mood than usual these past couple of weeks. The more I talked to him, the more he opened up to me, and I loved that. I loved having his attention, and getting to know him better, and although in-person socializing was a messy thing, I could tell it was becoming much easier for both of us.

"So? How is it going?" Coda asked. My stomach suddenly felt like it was in knots. How could I ask him this question? What would he think? Would he close himself off again? After everything we've been through, all the development our relationship has had... was I willing to risk all that?

But I had to. I had to make sure he didn't get stuck in one place, stuck on one idea, like he did with the prisons. Life was all about progressing and moving forward. "It's going great," I started. "It looks much more visually polished, and the music sets a calm and soothing tone... it's a very relaxing game."

Coda glanced at the screen, then back at me. "I'm glad you like it, but..." The smile was gone, replaced by a look of concern. "You stopped. I mean, of course I don't expect you to play it forever, but is there something wrong with the dialogue?"

I shook my head. "No, no, it's not the dialogue. I was just thinking, I, um..." I trailed off. God, I wish I could just _talk _to him. I wish I wasn't so afraid, because now the fear is eating away at me and rendering me speechless. I was so resolved just a minute ago- why did my feelings change so suddenly?

Coda was starting to look nervous too, which kind of threw me off, and was probably part of the reason I was having trouble asking the question. He'd never seemed worried about what anyone thought of his games before. Was something different about this one? I really had to be careful with what I said here. I rotated my chair so I was no longer directly facing him.

"This game... what does it mean to you?"

It wasn't exactly what I wanted to ask, but I figured this was a good place to start. Although, to my surprise, Coda turned away from me and stammered, "You don't, uh, know? I, I figured, since you have a tendency of overanalyzing things, that you might, um, get this one..."

I disregarded Coda pointing out that I overanalyzed things and instead took a moment to think about what the game might've meant to him (as I had always done). I focused on the environment first, which seemed to be reminiscent of the puzzle doors, with the two doors on either side and a dark space in the middle. Coda must've wanted to explore this idea more, of what the dark space meant to him. Which meant the dark space was a place for him to calm down and reflect on, or maybe work through, his feelings. But I wanted to know what would happen moving forward, what was in store for him after this, which is the reason why I stopped in the first place. If this really is all there is to it, then of course, as even Coda recognized, I didn't want to be stuck here forever.

But then I recalled the housecleaner's dialogue, which is where things started getting complicated for me. They talked about the house being a lot like one's soul, and how they thought it was cheesy to say that. If Coda felt like the dark space between the doors was where he most connected to himself, then who was I to try to take that away from him? But it was also the attitude of the housecleaner when they said that that was... unexpected. They seemed kind of reluctant at first, like it was a confession of some kind, but then they said it, and after I agreed with them, there was this pause, and then they changed topics. And then I pondered how in this game, the character was a different person than the housecleaner, so I figured it was supposed to represent Coda talking to someone else... but then I thought about how, of all his other games, _he _called _me _over to his place to play... but that meant the player was supposed to be me, and if this house really was the dark space in which he was most at peace with himself... then...

As it dawned on me, my head felt like it was buzzing with a million thoughts, but I couldn't understand what a single one was trying to convey. Yet, despite that, my heart was racing. One thought made itself heard amidst the others, but I couldn't believe it to be true. There was just no way. There was no way that _that's_ what this game was. That Coda was telling me, through this game, that he felt happiest with _me_... I remembered how happy he was, all the time, every time we were together. Was that... could that have been because of me?

I caught him looking at me as I was piecing all of this together, but he averted his eyes again. That would also explain why he couldn't maintain eye contact with me. If he was experiencing these same feelings as I was...

But what if I was wrong? What if that wasn't it? He was right about me overthinking things, but when it comes to a serious subject like this, I mean, could you blame me? I didn't want to do anything to sabotage myself or our relationship, but what if that was what I was about to do? Maybe... there had to be a way I could ask that wouldn't totally ruin everything. That wouldn't be an outright "Do you love me".

"The housecleaner, is that supposed to be you?" Yeah. That's good. A question like this would allow him to easily participate in the conversation.

"Yes." Coda was such a direct person, the polar opposite of me. It was something I really admired about him. That, and the way he used his games to express himself. He was so creative...

"And I'm guessing the House is supposed to represent the dark space between the two doors in the door puzzle?"

"Hm... I suppose that's one way to think about it."

Wait... that _wasn't _it? "Then what did you mean by making the environment like this? Where there's two doors on either side, and in between is dark?"

He shook his head at me. "Try thinking of it from a different perspective."

Well, this was new. Coda never gave me insight into what his games meant to him, nor did he try to. But it seemed like he wanted me to understand this one, which made my heart flutter as I connected that to what I had hoped this game meant. I really wanted to be right about this, more than anything in the world. But I had to take it easy, otherwise, I might scare him off, especially if I'm reading this all wrong.

A different perspective... maybe he's telling me to take the game for what it is, to think of it as a standalone to all of his other games. Which meant the doors served no purpose other than to just be the entrance and exit to the game, and the game was dark and snowy because it was simply a winter night, and the house was nothing more than a house. But the housecleaner was still Coda, so... maybe this was Coda's house? But then who was the player? Were they just another character, and it had nothing to do with me after all? And the reason he called me here was just because he trusted me the most with this game? Although I knew he never put these games on the Internet, the thought of not being the person Coda was talking to in this game, of not being the one who Coda was opening up to and showing a more intimate part of himself... it was torture.

I needed to know. This was becoming too painful for me to slowly drudge my way through. I didn't care anymore about seeing the other side of this, to seeing what was after this game. If the game is about us, I never wanted to leave. However, if this game wasn't about us, then I never wanted to look back. But I needed to know so I could figure out what to do next, how to feel next. "So the player character, are they supposed to represent anyone? Or are they just supposed to be the player character?"

Coda raised an eyebrow at me, then chuckled. I felt my face heat up. I might've been stupid to ask that question, but he didn't have to rub it in. With a smile on his face, a genuine, warm smile, he asked, "Well, what do you think?"

There was no backing out of this corner I got myself into. I could feel my heart pounding in my chest. I faced the computer screen again. "I, um... I think..." Come on, you can do this, just finish your sentence and it'll all be over, you'll finally know the truth! "I think that..." Why wasn't my tongue cooperating? I had two more words to say! Two! "It's me."

Finally. I finally said it. Anxiety, relief, and regret washed over me, all at once. I didn't know what to expect, except for an answer. And finally... I'd get one. For better or for worse. Although I don't know what I'd do at this point if it turned out to be the latter.

Coda nodded. "It is."

I... what? Did I hear that right?

"I... um..." he trailed off. I looked to him to find him fidgeting with the strings of his hoodie. "I hope you get what I'm trying to say. With the game. I mean, there's a reason I called you over. I wanted to make a game for you, and use it as a way to tell you how I felt, because whenever I tried to come up with the words, um, they just never... felt right. Like I wasn't saying exactly what I meant, or that my words wouldn't convey my feelings properly," he rambled. "I've just never been good with talking to people, you probably know that, and-"

"Coda." The intensity of my feelings surprised even myself. I'd been in a few relationships before, but it was nothing like this. I never felt so deeply connected with someone before, and to know that he wanted me to be with him the way I wanted to be with him... it really just blew my mind. And it made me so, so happy. "I get it." Now I had this goofy grin on my face, and I couldn't stop smiling. "I totally get it."

"You do?" I tried to neutralize my expression, at least a little bit, but it didn't work at all. He noticed. "You do," he repeated. Then he beamed, and laughed, the most wonderful sound I'd ever heard in my life. "I'm so happy..."

Tears stung my eyes. I wasn't one to cry when I was happy, but this was one of the few exceptions to that. It was overwhelming, how much love I felt for Coda in that moment. I averted my eyes to the computer, and with a sniffle, through bleary eyes, I selected the option that said yes, I did enjoy this.

I looked to Coda again, who was rubbing his eyes to try to conceal his own tears while still grinning from ear to ear. Staying here forever... it was no longer an idea that scared me. Now, there was nothing I wanted more.


End file.
